Rudolph Revisited

(to the tune of "Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer")
by D M Goldstein, 1986

My least favorite Christmas song of all time has got
to be "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer". It's a story
about how society rejected a freak until, overnight,
he became famous. Then, all of a sudden, he's Mister
Popularity. Pshaw! This is not the kind of lesson
we should be teaching our children! So, in my humble
manner, I offer you a song with a better lesson ...

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
had a very shiny nose.
Let me tell you a secret;
it's from a drug overdose!

All of the other Reindeer
used to laugh and call him names.
That is what drove poor Rudolph
to escape into Coccaine.

Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say,
"Rudolph, we know what you've done."
The police came and took him away.

Now all the Reindeer are straight;
they've given up PCP,
quaaludes, and marijuana,
and flying high on LSD.

(Optional tag, to the tune of NOEL ...)

No L, No L, No L, No L.
None of the Reindeer do LSD.

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